I've found I begrudgingly love the freewrites. They force me to actually express myself on paper, something that used to be my life's breath, but now I seldom venture into. And so today, as I wait down the hall from my German classroom (because I'm avoiding someone who is sitting right outside it... Story for another day...) I have decided to share this morning's freewrite with you.
“It doesn’t matter because you push and push me until I just shut down completely.”
..........
Letting the smell of mom’s sugar cookies trail behind me, I took the stairs two at a time up to Kate’s bedroom. Pulling my phone out of my apron’s pocket, I stole a quick breath before my gaze rolled across the screen. I was surprised to find the disconnection with which I had faced the first two texts melting away as the phone buzzed in my hand for the fifth, sixth, seventh time, every ‘click’ as I scrolled to the next text feeling like a punch to the gut. Lines like “I can’t handle...” and “I’m done...” jumped out at me and curled around in my head.
..........
Letting the smell of mom’s sugar cookies trail behind me, I took the stairs two at a time up to Kate’s bedroom. Pulling my phone out of my apron’s pocket, I stole a quick breath before my gaze rolled across the screen. I was surprised to find the disconnection with which I had faced the first two texts melting away as the phone buzzed in my hand for the fifth, sixth, seventh time, every ‘click’ as I scrolled to the next text feeling like a punch to the gut. Lines like “I can’t handle...” and “I’m done...” jumped out at me and curled around in my head.
At the eighth text the words suddenly blurred out of focus and I could’t quite remember how to bring them back again. My shins hit the edge of the air mattress before the first sob broke free.
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