"It should have been me."

If I could take it all away from you, I would. If I could take your place, I would. I’m so sorry.

People keep telling me I shouldn’t be sorry. But what else can I be? Being sorry is born of having sorrow, isn’t it? What else could I be feeling, knowing what you’re going through? I’m so sorry—Sorry that I can’t take it all away, and make nothing hurt, and stop all the crying and the sleepless nights and the sick feeling that makes it impossible to eat. It hurts when I stop thinking, because then I remember that i’m breathing, and you can’t do that on your own.

All my life I’ve taken breathing for granted. I’m so sorry.

I can barely look at you, and I’m so ashamed for it. You’re beautiful though, I hope you know that.

I’ve been asking for you. I’ve been asking for you to stay. I don’t want you to go. Please, please don’t leave.

I love you, my little one. Thank you for changing my life.

-Auntie Kenzie